Fights
by California Love
Summary: It's just a stupid, spur of the moment stoiry. really whacky and funny. anyway, please r/r! and be honest!
1. Default Chapter

FIGHTS  
  
A/N: I know this is short and stupid, but I find humor in the smallest things. call me crazy if ya want.  
  
  
  
  
  
PRIVET DRIVE:  
  
  
"YOU ARE A SMELLY LITTLE BRAT!" Vernon yelled.  
"LOOK WHO'S TALKING! YOU OVER STUFFED, NO NECK SMELLY, UGLY  
MUGGLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "Harry Screamed back.  
"DON'T INSULT ME BOY!!!!!!!!!!" Vernon screamed.  
"TRY AND STOP ME PORKY PIG!!!!!!!!!!!!" Harry screamed again.  
Vernon's face burned with anger.  
"I'LL BEAT THE STUFFIN OUT OF YOU BOY! SHUT UP!" Vernon yelled.  
Harry rolled his eyes.  
"PUH-LEASE! LIKE YOU COULD! AND STOP CALLING BE BOY! I'M 17!!!!!!!!!!"  
Harry screamed.  
"I'LL CALL YOU ANYTHING I WANT!!!! AND I'D LIKE TO SEE YOU TRY AND  
STOP ME!!!!!!" Vernon yelled charging at Harry and trying to punch him. Harry rolled his  
eyes and levitated up the ceiling.  
"GET DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!" Vernon screamed in rage  
Harry shook his head and laughed. Petunia walked over and started trying to whack him  
with a broom. He laughed again. He yelled; 'ACCIO PETUNIA!!!!!!!!!" and Petunia came  
zooming at him he also enchanted the broom to fly. Petunia screamed. Harry jumped on  
the broom and started sending things around.  
  
  
________________________________  
Brittany Spears concert  
  
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE????" Ron and hermione screamed at the same time.  
ME?????? WHAT ABOUT YOU??????????" they screamed.  
I thought you hated Britney Spears!" Hermione said.  
"Me? What about you? I thought you said you didn't like singers who 'Drive me Crazy' as  
you put it!" Ron yelled!  
"What about you??????? I THOUGHT YOU DIDN'T LIKE MUGGLE SINGERS!!!!!!!"  
HERMIONE SCREAMED BACK.  
"ME? I .......I.......I DON'T!!!! MY DAD DOES!!!!!!!"  
"RIGHT! I'M SUPPOSED TO BELIEVE THAT?  
"YES!  
"WELL I DON'T!"  
"WELL YOU SHOULD!!!!!!!!  
"I DON'T!  
YOU SHOULD!  
I DON'T!   
YOU SHOULD!   
I DON'T!  
YOU SHOULD!  
I DON'T!  
GO OUT WITH ME?  
YES!  
  
_________________________________  
"HE SHOULD BE CALLED VOLDEMORT! Sirius yelled  
"NO. HE SHOULD BE CALLED LORD VOLDEMORT! Lupin yelled  
WHY? HE ISN'T NO LORD! Sirius  
YES HE IS! Lupin  
"NO HE'S NOT! LORDS ARE GOOD! Sirius  
"GOOD LORDS ARE GOOD! BAD ONES ARE BAD!!!! Lupin  
"WELL, DUH! HE IS BAD! THAT'S WHY HE CAN'T BE A LORD! Sirius  
"HE IS BAD!" Lupin  
"EXACTLY! THAT'S WHY IS NO LORD! Sirius  
"HE IS! Lupin  
"HE'S NOT A LORD! Sirius  
"YES HE IS!!!!!!! Lupin  
NO HE'S NOT!!!!!!! Sirius  
YES! Lupin  
NO! Sirius  
DID I SAY HE WAS A GOD? Lupin  
NO! Sirius  
EXACTLY! Lupin  
EXACTLY WHAT? Sirius  
EXACTLY! SO HE'S A LORD! Lupin  
WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? Sirius  
HE IS NOT GOD. Lupin  
DUH! WHAT PLANET ARE YOU FROM? Sirius  
I DON'T KNOW, BUT YOU ARE DEFINITELY FROM PLANET JUPITER!!!!! Lupin  
HE IS NOT A LORD! Sirius  
SO YOU'RE SAYING HE'S GOD? Lupin  
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO Sirius  
HE IS A LORD, NOT GOD! Lupin  
HE NEITHER! HE'S NOT A LORD OR GOD!!!!!!! Sirius  
I KNOW THAT! Lupin  
WHAT? Sirius  
I KNOW THAT! Lupin  
THEN WHY ARE YOU BEING STUPID? Sirius  
I LIKE ----WAIT? STUPID? I'LL SHOW YOU STUPID! Lupin  
OH YEAH? Sirius  
YEAH! Lupin  
AND JUST WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO? sires  
NOTHING! Lupin  
WHAT? Sirius  
NOTHING Lupin  
I HEARD YOU Sirius  
I KNOW Lupin  
THEN WHY ARE YOU... Sirius  
I LIKE GIVING YOU Z HARD TIME. Lupin  
OH. Sirius  
OK Lupin  
OK Sirius  
OK. Lupin  
GOOD. Sirius  
  
  
  
  
A/N OKAY, I KNOW THIS ISN'T THAT LONG BUT BE CALM! I MAY MAKE A  
FIGHTS 2!!!!! YAY! WON'T THAT BE FUN! OWWWWW! ::RON KICKS ME IN  
THE BUTT:: FINE! I WON'T! ONLY IF YOU REALLY REALLY REALLY LIKE IT!  
YOWWWWW! HELP! ::HARRY,VERNON,PUTINA,RON,HERMIONE,SIRIUS,AND  
LUPIN ATTACK AUTHOR FOR REVEALING THEIR CRAZY SIDE TO YOU  
ALL::!!!!!!!!!!!!  
SORRY IT'S SOOOO SHORT BUT I LIKE IT ANYWAY. AND WELL PLEASE  
R/R!!!!!!!!! IF YA DO, I'LL BE ONE OF THOSE NICE AUTHORS(OR WILL I?) I can and DO write serious fanfic.  
now, i can be the nice author and don't leave ya hangin, or i can be the mean author who leaves cliff   
hangers and takes forever to post the next chapter. Take your pick. ciao 


	2. Default Chapter

Fights 2  
  
A/N: thanks Megan. here is Dumbledor fighting with dobby  
  
  
Dumbledor: DOBBY!!!!!!!!!  
Dobby : Yes Master Dumbledor?  
Dumbledor: Give me your socks!  
Dobby : I think not sir!  
Dumbledor: Give me!!!!!  
Dobby: NO!  
dumbledor: I said give me them!  
Dobby : and I said NO  
Dumbledor: Dobby? who is your master?  
Dobby : you are sir  
Dumbledor: EXACTLY!!!!!!! You do as your TOLD!  
Dobby : Leave me alone!  
dumbldor: give your damn socks!  
Dobby : I WON'T!!!!! NEVER!  
  
::dumbledor grabs socks in hands and tries to pull them away   
from Dobby. Dobby keeps hold. won't let::  
  
Dumbledor: let........go.......of.....the socks!  
Dobby : NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO  
Dumbledor: I'll feed ya to Fluffy!  
Dobby : NO  
Dumbledor: I WANT SOCKS!!!!!!!!!!  
Dobby: Go buy your OWN!  
  
::Dumbledor still can't get the socks from Dobby so he   
starts swinging the socks in the air and turning in circles.   
Dobby still hanging on::  
  
Dumbledor: you're fired!(lets goes of socks)  
Dobby : Can't fire me! I quite!(puts socks on)  
  
Dumbledor sits on floor, crosses his arms against chest and cries   
Dumbledor: ALL I WANTED WAS SOCKS!!!!!WHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH  
(sucks thumb)  
Dobby : Shoulda bought your own you old codger!(leaves and slams door.  
Dumbledor: WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH  
WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH  
  
How the hell was Voldemort scared of him?  
  
  
A/N: Megan, good? I tried. but I'm new a writing and my stuff isn't all that good.  
sorry if this wasn't humorous. peace. thanks for the review. 


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